And so here it is....March 31! The end of the 2022 March SOLSC! WE did it!

As we got ready for this year's challenge, I must admit I was nervous. My slicing track record on Tuesday has been unremarkable. I've had a hard time getting into my writing groove. I felt uninspired and blocked. But I wanted to be part of the challenge and I wanted to get out of my writing rut.

I thought music might inspire me. I decided to choose a song each day as the title of my blog posts and the song would relate to what was happening that day. It really helped me. When I listen to my playlist now, I can remember the story of that day. I curated the playlist and you could find it here. 
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All month long, I envisioned the last day's song being "My Way". But when I went to write the post, that just didn't seem right anymore. "We Are The Champions" felt much more appropriate. Because- we are. In 2022, with war on our tv and COVID-19 fears still swirling, with a million reasons why this challenge would be too much work and too difficult- we did it. We showed up day after day to tell stories. To bear witness to each other's stories. To comment in support or understanding or validation. There were no prizes this year- no weekends at Highlights or amazing books to win. Still, we showed. Still, we wrote. Still, we told our truths in 6 word memoirs, in poems, in personal narratives, with humor or with sadness. 

"We are the champions...." 

Thanks for being part of the TWT 2022 March SOLSC! I hope we meet again on Tuesdays throughout the year and or course, next March. 

"You, who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so, become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye"
"Teach Your Children", Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young 

I teach the children. 
I teach the children who lose all their notebooks and papers and I teach the children who neatly line everything up in their desks. 
I teach the children.
I teach the children whose parents send me long, meandering messages many times a week and the children whose parents don't return my call. 
I teach the children.
I teach the children who easily master every multiplication table and the children who can't remember the doubles facts.
I teach the children.
I teach the children who know how to put others at ease and make friends effortlessly and I teach the children who sit by themselves and have trouble connecting.
I teach the children. 
I teach the children who can't seem to focus on their books and the children who get lost in the pages.
I teach the children.
I teach the children who soak up learning like a sponge and the children who hit brick walls when trying to learn something new.
I teach the children.
I teach the children who would bloom anywhere they were planted and the children who need special tending and care to grow. 
I teach
​the children. 

So......I didn't watch the Oscars, but apparently there was something to talk about!

When I saw the news this morning, I was so confused. Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the middle of the live Academy Awards? Then went on to win and receive an Oscar?

I've always liked Will Smith in as much as I knew about him. I was glad to see him go from a rapper to a tv star to a movie star. Now an Academy Award winner.  But I was really troubled by the fact that he walked onto the stage, slapped Chris Rock, cursed at him, sauntered off like the cat who ate the canary, and that isn't considered wrong? 

I understand he was upset about a joke Chris Rock that was maybe in bad taste. But what precedent does this set- someone says something you don't like, and you are allowed to go off and smack them? (Can you imagine presidential debates if this was allowed?) I feel like there was a world of options for Will Smith to express his dislike of the joke in appropriate channels. 

However, on social media, it's like a different world.  Reading people's comments about the incident and their defense of Will Smith is puzzling to me. How can we defend violence like that? 

Aren't some things just wrong?  Asking for a friend. :) 

*Each day this month, I am using a song to anchor or inspire a post. Today's is a little bit of a stretch. :)

You oughta know that this morning I woke up before 7 (usual for me) and worked on my weekly class newsletter before making breakfast.

You oughta know that breakfast was eggs and mashed banana mixed together, with peanut butter powder, and then cooked like pancakes.  You oughta know I really enjoyed it and it kept me full all morning.

You oughta know my husband picked up the grocery order and brought all the bags in, and I unpacked them and put away all our new food for the week. You oughta know I forgot to order eggs (essential) and they were out of ground beef so I needed to run to the grocery store later that morning. 

You oughta know I went to Buddah Barn and took a yoga class with my sister. You oughta know the pigeon position is so hard for me and I don't wear my hearing aids to yoga and have to look at what everyone is doing since I can't hear the cue. You oughta know I love the part at the end where the instructor sprays us with a blend of essential oils while we lie down in corpse position. 

You oughta know I took Teddy for a walk when I got home because he looked like he needed some fresh air, then I showered and went to the grocery store for the eggs, meat and a few other last minute decisions of things I wanted but didn't have on hand. 

You oughta know I cleaned the basement for my daughter's playdate and checked in with my Brownie troop over the cookies we have left from our last cookie booth. 

You oughta know I made a yummy lunch from a recipe I saw on my WW app (salad with ditalini in it- who knew? ) 

You oughta know I baked cookies for the playdate but then my son's friends came over and they ate most of the cookies before my daughter's friend came. That was fine. There was enough for the girls and her friend bought munchkins.

You oughta know I cooked 3 dinners tonight- trying to meal prep for the week ahead and then the kids don't eat what I eat...

You oughta know I walked Teddy one more time because he needed exercise. His harness is getting too snug and we just went up a size. You oughta know the vet will have something to say about that. 

You oughta know I am exhausted and contemplating if I want to put away laundry baskets tonight or wait for tomorrow. 

You oughta know that the Bangles sing about "Manic Monday" but my Sundays are pretty hectic too. 

"Beauty's where you find it."
-"Vogue", Madonna

Driving to the barn today for Megan's horseback riding lesson, Megan continued to DJ. After listening to "Material Girl", Spotify must have suggested other Madonna songs. We listened to "Express Yourself" and then I suggested "Vogue." Dancing along in the car, I sang along to "Beauty's where you find it" and thought- that is my song for today.  (Each day this month, my blog post has been inspired by a song.)

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the soft caramel colored fluffy fur of Teddy, and his big black nose and soulful eyes. It's the feeling I get when he rests on my lap and I pet him.

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the text message my former principal sends me every weekend, just to say hi and check in. That thoughtful connections always makes me smile.

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the way my son, Alex, races across the field at the park, flags streaming behind him as players try to grab one and the cheers that go up as he scores a touchdown. 

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the confidence my daughter, Megan, has as she sits on top of a horse and tries something new at her lesson.

Beauty's where you find it.

It's a radiologist report that says nothing is remarkable or stands out from your mammogram. 

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the news that someone who lost a baby girl is now pregnant with identical twins who are girls. 

Beauty's where you find it.

It's empty strollers at a train station in Poland so refugees from the Ukraine have something for their babies. 

Beauty's where you find it.

It's in the pictures your students draw for you, big hearts that say "Best Teacher Ever" on the days when you feel far from that.

​Beauty's where you find it. 

"And I'll remember the love that you gave me, now that I'm standing on my own..."
-"I'l Remember", Madonna

*Each day in March I am selecting a song as the title and inspiration for my blog post. I am curating a playlist of moments and memories and I will share it at the end of the month.

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Today is my Grandma's birthday and though she is in Heaven, I feel her around me today. I woke up thinking about her and all the things I remember about our time together. Our cups of tea together. The times I called her and she picked up with a "Hiya Kath!" Sitting on the porch together. All the holidays. All the regular days. I was blessed to have my Grandma until I was 35 years old. It still didn't feel like enough time. 

Today I attended the LILAC Conference (Long Island Language Arts Committee) and had the pleasure of hearing Mr. Schu speak in a workshop. He talked about his Grandma and watching Golden Girls together and I always did that too- Saturday nights my sister and I would sleep over and the Golden Girls were on at 9:00 on Channel 4. Mr. Schu was so passionate, animated, fun and full of meaning- it just filled my soul to hear him speak and to learn about the books he shared. He spoke about how he's been inspired by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and I've always been inspired by here too. Mr. Schu's workshop was good for my soul today. I'll remember him and his presentation. 

There is so much to hold onto and just as much to let go of. Maybe one of life's lessons is learning the difference. Today I hold my dear Grandma and love of stories in my heart. 

"It's a better place since you came along."
-Rachel Platten

Dear iPad,
It's only been about a month since you've come here, but you've made a seriously positive impact in my life. Here's the biggest reason why- you have the Libby app, which allows me to borrow digital books from the library! At night, when I sit on Megan's floor until she falls asleep, I can read books instead of just scrolling on my phone. I've read so many books since you've come along. I've read several Elin Hildebrand books (makes me feel like I'm on Nantucket in the summer!) and just finished a Jennifer Weiner book called That Summer (highly recommend). I read Finlay Donovan is Killing It (Thanks for the recommendation, Stacey- such a fun book!) and I've been able to place holds on books that I want to read next. 

It's funny how introducing something new can really make a positive impact. I feel happier not looking at Instagram so much and I feel like I'm reading so much more than I've been able to in recent years (during the school year).

i-Pad, you were worth every penny!

Love,
A Happy Reader 
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"Oh you have a filter in your ear!"
My audiologist was examining my left ear. One of my hearing aid filters apparently got loose inside my ear and wedged itself down inside the ear wax. Gross and unsettling. 
"I'm not sure if I can get it out but I'll try. Let me get my tools." 

It's always my left side giving me trouble. My left eye has seriously worse vision than my right eye. My left ear has significantly worse hearing than the right ear. And now it has a filter stuck in it too. 

My audiologist was able to get the filter out but it took some poking and prodding and now my ear feels sensitive and sore. 

Do you have a stronger side of your body or a side that tends to be the one that lets you down? 

One of my closest friends and I talk everyday over Voxer about our weight. We talk about how our eating is going, our successes and the hard days. My friend has lost over 100 pounds and deeply understands all the things I've always felt about body image, self-worth, and going for your goals. We've both been at lower weights than we are now and we are working towards slimmer and fitter bodies. 

My friend's daughter is the same age as Megan. While Megan is very slim and petite in height, my friend's daughter feels uncomfortable about her size. The doctor suggested a nutrition plan that really limits carbohydrates for most of the day. Sugar would of course be limited too. 

What is a mom to do?

I think back to when I was around that age and everyone was trying to police my food (or so it felt). I remember going to the diner with my grandparents and being encouraged to get the diet platter, which was a burger with the bun and cottage cheese. It makes me want to weep now just thinking about it (it's the only unpleasant memory I have of my grandparents). I remember getting Alba low calorie shakes while my sister was given rich and creamy Carnation Instant Breakfast shakes. I remember my cookies being rationed out. I remember being taken to diet programs. Everyone's heart was in the right place. I needed to lose weight. I couldn't fit into clothes like my friends could- I needed the "pretty plus" jeans which felt anything but pretty. But all of the efforts to make me lose weight made me feel deeply ashamed. 

If you have a child who needs to lose weight how do you help him/her without the shame and feelings of restriction? To lose weight, some foods do have to be restricted. It's just the way it is. But how do you help a child both lose weight and not feel shamed and restricted? 

My kids don't really have my genetics. They definitely don't have my weight struggles. But I feel so much for my friend whose daughter is in this situation. She wants her to be happy, healthy and confident and weight really does play a role. 

Have you ever had to help a child lose weight? Any strategies? 

My son, Alex, is the A-Train on his flag football team. The quarterback. He's fast and most games, he is scoring touchdowns.  Yesterday wasn't that game. Still- it's fun to watch him play. The other parents always compliment him and ask what we gave him for breakfast on days he is particularly on fire. 

I remember when Alex started flag football. It was February 2020 and freezing. He didn't know anyone on his team at all- most of the boys are from another town and he had to walk in without any buddies. I've always admired his ability to do that- to try new things without the cushion of a familiar friend. Alex had been playing soccer for years and I always thought that was "his sport" but then flag football came around. He loves both. The flag football season in 2020 was, for obvious reasons, interrupted. I remember it was freezing when he started but then the season picked up again to finish out in July and it was bakingly hot. I remember being so grateful that he could play again. 

Watching Alex run, throw, catch, listen to the coaches, cheer on his team- I had a moment of picturing him as a baby in his little swing. When I had Alex, I took the whole school year off to be with him and it was such valuable and beautiful time. With Megan, I only took from March through the end of the summer and went back to work when she was 6 months. My mom was able to watch her so I knew she would be in great hands but I only got a few months alone with her. Alex and I had a lot of time together when he was a baby. He was utterly adorable- round, with big cheeks and big eyes. 
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Alex's childhood took a hard turn when he was in first grade and was attacked by a dog while at a friend's house. The dog attacked his face and he's had a lot of medical procedures for the scarring. We had a lawsuit where he had to speak about what happened in a deposition and then later in a courtroom to a judge. He's been unspeakably brave. For a long time, the incident defined our lives. For a long time, I never knew how I could let him go to a friend's house ever again. But slowly, I've been able to trust again and I had to- he deserves a life or friendship and fun and not fear. 

This year, Alex is in fifth grade. He has a slew of friends. He is excelling in his academics and he's responsible- he comes home from school and starts his homework without being prompted. He cares about his grades. He's kind. He's funny. He's fast and a good team player. He's coachable. I'm so proud of his courage. And his heart. 

This one's for you, Alex. I love you more than I could ever express.