Finally....the end of 23 Thoughts
A list will be easy, I thought.
Just jot down 23 thoughts for 2023, I told myself.
Weeks later, I am trying to finish the list! You can find the first installment here and the second installment here.
But now, finally, the last thoughts for this list....
14- Apparently geometry has been the area of math that everyone has given up on in the pandemic. When my current third grade students were in kindergarten, schools closed down in March. During online teaching, with all that kindergarteners need to know, geometry didn't make the cut. Fast forward to first grade, when some students were learning remotely and others were in school behind glass shields, wearing masks. Gaps had to be filled from the year before and geometry was the least of our worries people! Second grade....I can only imagine it was the same story- this time with everyone back in the building though and no glass shields. Our school i-Ready data shows that no one knows geometry. So now I'm thinking of how can I bring in geometry concepts at other times of the day to shore this up a bit? (Math friends- s hare ideas!)
15- My children are so much more skilled and talented than I ever was- at least, athletically. My son, Alex, is super fast and does well in all the sports he plays. My daughter, Megan, loves to horseback ride and recently started ice skating and rollerskating. I could never even stand in skates. I loathed the roller rink, but on Friday night, there she was, zipping around the rink on her light up skates even though she hasn't really ever roller skated. I'm so glad they are both like this.
16-I am trying to unlearn many things about eating and how I feel about my body. It is new and different to not feel guilty for eating things like cookies or fries. The guilt still shows up but I try to tell it that there is no reason to feel badly about myself as a human being for eating a cookie or a french fry. My whole life, from a young age, I have been on a quest to change the way I eat and the way my body looks. Now, at 43, I am embracing a new mindset. I am loving what is (or trying to) without the constant quest to make myself smaller. I am teaching myself that food is neutral and eating it makes you neither good or bad. It is harder than you think to undo these lifetime thought patterns.
17- I have crazy dreams at night- almost every night. There is no pattern with the dreams other than they are weird and usually stressful in some way. I'm wondering if I engage in some type of meditation at night if this will stop. I am open to any solutions anyone has on ways to calm your mind at night to have more peaceful sleep.
18- I've received a Grand Jury summons and will need to call in later this week to see if I need to go to court. A librarian atm y school was on Grand Jury for over a month. There is a chance I can be selected and away from my school for weeks. I've never done another job except teaching since being 22 years old so it would be interesting to see how the courts are and experience something different for a short period of time.
19- My sister and I took part in a Vision Board workshop this weekend. It was so much fun. I came to the workshop feeling like I don't really have a vision anymore for myself. My whole life- I wanted to be a teacher and a mom. I've been those things for a while now and I don't know what else to strive for. I was surprised that what came through during this exercise was a lot of ideas on framing my thoughts, choosing grace and happiness, looking for the silver linings, and embracing the ideas of self worth. These are what spilled across the page of my vision board.
20- My sister's vision board fit her perfectly- fashion, fine food, wine, fun, with sprinklings of gratitude and positive mindset. It was so funny to me how our vision boards did really express who we currently are as well as what we hope life will be like for us. She is a breast cancer survivor and that experience has reshaped how she views the world in a lot of ways. No time or reason to sweat the small stuff.
21- I always thought dogs were adorable, but after my son was badly hurt by one years ago, I really hated dogs. They were everywhere and I despised them and resented their presence. It makes it all the more wild to me that I love our dog, Teddy, with a fierceness that is hard to describe. We got Teddy in December of 2020- and adorable, gentle muppet-like cavapoo. He has brought our family so much joy and healing. We are all free to love dogs again- especially our Teddy. Holding him, stroking his soft curly fur- he brings joy to my days. It goes to show, you really can always change your mind.
22- I used to think it didn't matter if you didn't attend a wake or a funeral for someone you knew who lost a loved one. I figured they would not notice either way who is there. But after my own losses and hard times, I absolutely always knew who was there and never forgot w ho showed up. So now I try to show up. I try to attend wakes or funerals when someone I know has lost someone they love. I've learned that it really is important to do that.
23- I am aware of time passing yet also aware that the days right now are really precious. My son is 12 and my daughter almost 10. They are older but still little- still under my roof- still kids. In the next ten years, they will be adults- either in college or just out of it if that's their path. Ten years ago, my son was 2 and my daughter just about to be born. Wasn't that yesterday? And also forever ago? It reminds me not to waste these days and moments. Carpe Diem.
I made it! Whew! Next week, I can start a new topics! :)
Glass half empty: I didn't show up last week to continue my 23 Thoughts post and make further progress on my goal to write more often.
Glass half full: I'm here now! No time like the present to continue my thoughts as 2023 is still in its first month.
My previous post was here. Let's continue on with number 7....
7. My daughter's trainer (at the barn where she takes horseback riding lessons) suddenly left the stable and now my daughter will need to train with someone new. She was so sad and worried about how things would go at her next lesson. Turns out, the lesson was super fun and more challenging and she had the biggest smile. Beforehand, I tried to tell her that sometimes clouds have silver linings, and she didn't really understand what I meant. But I think it was a silver lining moment.
8. I really dislike January. It is a cold month, a joyless month, a month that holds sad memories. I decorated for Valentine's Day today and for the thought that February is coming. February is pink and red and chocolates and a week off of work. February is much preferred to January.
9. I have felt a shift in my life- I've gone from striving and doing to ..being. It's like I worked hard my whole life trying to achieve and excel and stand out and I realized I was exhausted. I have resigned from committees. I'm eased out of commitments. I am learning to accept I am worthy even when I'm not achieving, or striving. It feels strange, though.
10. My daughter is asking me to come get her mint chip iced cream. It is a nightly routine. She loves mint chip. But this is why it's hard to get my writing groove going- mint chip scooping among other mom and teacher tasks (and puppy mom tasks, too) that seem to always require my attention.
13 more thought to go.....can I make it before January ends?
Happy New Year- 2023! I am working to get back into the writing/blogging habit and currently have no ideas for this blog post! It's almost bedtime, with work/school starting tomorrow.....so doing my best to get a post in. I've made it challenging for myself by using 23 but easy enough because it's 23 random, unconnected thoughts. I've totally GOT this. Here we go.....
1- My son, Alex, will turn 13 this year. I remember, 13 years ago this month, hiding in my supply closet in my kindergarten classroom to listen to the voicemail from the fertility clinic congratulating me that I was pregnant! Best. Voicemail. Ever.
2- I used a Target gift card tonight to buy a new lunch tote, the new Taylor Jenkins Reid book and a blue tank top. One of my students gave me the generous gift for the holidays and I thought tonight was the perfect night to use it.
3- The holiday break is a hard one to come back from. School before the holidays is not really school- it's a lot of fluffy, fun, celebratory activities, concerts and assemblies. It feels like ages since we did a full, regular, non-holiday-ish school day.
4- I set my alarm for 5am to go to the gym tomorrow morning. I wonder if it will be crowded with the New Year newbies. I joined in November so am not a newbie.
5-I've been listening to Susan Mallery's romance books on my phone, using the Libby app. It is the best app ever- so many books to borrow. I love audiobooks and find they keep me entertained in the car, while I do laundry and when cooking. The Happily Inc. series is adorable- the town centers around weddings- and I love all the characters.
6- As I wrote this, I realized there was no way I can get to 23 before bedtime. But a stroke of genius- I can stretch this post into several weeks worth of thoughts! This could just be Part 1! As Blair from Facts of Life would say, "I just had another one of my BRILLIANT ideas!"
Stay tuned for next week....
Kathleen Neagle Sokolowski