Age 6?
At doctor's I am off charts Mother told that I'm too heavy Childhood: My sister needs to gain weight I am given low-fat shakes She is given high calorie ones Elastic on my sleeves is snipped My arms are too fat, apparently "Pretty Plus" jeans are not cute. 13-14 years old: "New You" program makes new me 125 pounds looks good on me. College: Weight starts to come back again Nutritionist says cut all the carbs Lose 30 pounds in 3 months I can't resist carbs forever though New teacher/ in my 20's I am stressed- I will eat Everyone is paired off but me Bridesmaid's dress in size 20: horrified Weight Watchers helped me lose it Feeling more confident- met my husband 30's Honeymoon breakfast buffet piles on pounds Friend thinks I'm pregnant- I'm not Trying to get pregnant- not easy Flat Belly Diet- lost some weight Joyfully pregnant- eat whatever I want 215 pounds when I deliver baby New nutritionist- time to lose again Starting to lose then pregnant again! Lose, gain, gain, gain, lose, gain 41 My Fitness Pal tells me truth I am eating too many calories 1200 a day brings on loss 1200 a day is freaking hard I deserve to reach my goals 2 steps forward, 3 steps back Progress not perfection, little by little Not a sprint, but a marathon Must believe I can do this Feeling the failure of the past Does not serve me well today Keep going, keep going, keep going.
8 Comments
Wow, this piece blows the reader away with its pure honesty. Your writing includes your thoughts and feelings but the format is so spare, it comes across as simple reporting, without excuses, just facts. Not everyone has struggled as long or as hard as you but most of us can still relate to your struggle. My favorite lie: “elastic on my sleeves is snipped.” It’s an unexpected detail that makes your reader believe you’ve been there.
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7/21/2020 07:55:20 am
Your post is filled with such honesty. Your ability to share and be vulnerable with so few words is amazing. Sending thoughts your way.
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7/21/2020 09:34:50 am
Thanks for sharing this very honest post. Keep going! It'll all pay off.
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Oh, Kathleen. The struggle is real. Taking us back to your earliest years made my heart hurt. I think the line that got me was about having the elastic snipped off of the sleeves.
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7/21/2020 12:26:45 pm
Kathleen,
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Erika Victor
7/21/2020 04:28:26 pm
I feel your pain and vulnerabilty here (and empathize, as I have the same struggle). Sending you love and the knowledge that you can do hard things, but your body is fighting against you.
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Oh, this could have been my weighty memoir, with a few minor differences. And COVID19 has not been kind to my waistline, so much so that I worry about work clothes fitting. I am an on-again, off-again FitnessPal user...it works, when I put in the work. And yes, 1200 is darn near impossible. I feel like I'm sharing this journey with you!
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AuthorKathleen Neagle Sokolowski Archives
February 2024
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