At the most inopportune time, without fail, a third grader will fart.
The sound will echo through the classroom and then there will be silence for a beat before the eruption of laughter and nose holding commences. The fart-er will react differently- some will laugh along, some will deny it was them, others will hide their faces from embarrassment. Students, at this time of the year, will be in two camps. There will be the laughing, nose holding, guffawing crew that just can't get passed the funniness of farts. There will be the mature, adult-like crew (albeit smaller) who have followed my lead and now echo my words, "It's a normal bodily function. It is not a big deal." Like a bee buzzing through a room, a fart ruins any engagement I had. It takes away the focus on what I was desperately trying to teach, read, model or share. I cannot compete with a fart. What other occupation can you utter those words?
12 Comments
3/5/2020 02:53:16 am
Oh my gosh, Kathleen, such words... "I cannot compete with a fart." I am not sure truer words have ever been spoken! Love the eloquence with which you recount this event for us, especially the different "camps" the students fall into just following the event.
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3/5/2020 08:12:19 am
I love your ending and your simile - "like a bee buzzing through the classroom"! Hilarious, relatable, and well-crafted!
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Mirielle
3/5/2020 08:18:23 am
So much truth in that one fact... "I cannot compete with a fart"! The life of a teacher, who would have thought we would be saying these things. Sometimes you just need to giggle inside and enjoy the quick break in structure.
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3/5/2020 01:24:01 pm
There is nothing like a good fart joke -- maybe a pediatrician can say that as well (being married to one I do hear a lot of fart stories). Thanks for the smile
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Eva Kaplan
3/5/2020 01:47:19 pm
There is something about farting that makes people laugh - old and young alike! Have you shared the book, Walter the Farting Dog, which talks about flatulence and how the dogs farting saved the family from being robbed? Very funny picture book and a good way to talk about farting. I believe the book is actually a series.
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3/5/2020 04:59:23 pm
Too funny. I love how you take the commonplace and elevate it with your lively writing style. Last two lines are hilarious.
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3/5/2020 06:03:19 pm
Nor can I. It is a true competition too made even worse when an aroma accompanies the noise. Like a bee in the room, everyone kind of just wants to escape.
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3/5/2020 06:17:22 pm
Speaking of a universal theme: I cannot begin, nor are there adequate words, to tell about this week’s severe weather drill, a mass of fifty-plus third graders in fetal position in the stairwell, when... well, annihilation does not come strictly from
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3/5/2020 06:40:18 pm
ERMEHGERD! This post is so REAL and so hilarious.
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3/5/2020 08:48:31 pm
Those last two lines -- ha! Probably best not to undertake a competition like that hypothetical one.
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AuthorKathleen Neagle Sokolowski Archives
February 2024
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