#SOL22 Heavy and LIght

"So, what is he eating? He's gained 3 pounds in two months," the vet says, disapprovingly as my fluffy (maybe a little chubby) cavapoo, Teddy  stands on the examining table. Maybe we've been heavy-handed with the chicken? Too many treats? Not enough walks? The vet says a small dog like him will feel the extra pounds and we have to be careful. Even my dog needs to worry about his weight. 
***
Last Friday, I stepped on the scale to see it has climbed up again. 25 pounds up from where I was when I turned 40, two and a half years ago. And all that weight gain has happened while I've actively been working on it...something is just not right in my approach. I decided I needed help. For years, I swore I would never count points again but Friday morning, I signed up for WW. The last time I did it was maybe 2007? It's been 5 days and I have to say I LOVE the new program. I have the digital 360 membership which has tons of content to watch and listen to. I like the ease of the tracker and the personal points system. On the plan I created, brown rice and potatoes are FREE! (Praise!) Eggs, chicken, Greek yogurt- all things I can have without having to count points for them. This adds tons of flexibility to my eating day. I've LOVED all that I've been eating so far (waffles, Chinese take out, pasta....) and I'm down 3 pounds. To see the scale finally move makes me feel mentally lighter if not physically. It's a long journey to get to where I want to be physically, but I finally feel like I'm making progress and that feels good. 

*** 
I started reading a memoir called The Heavy- A Mother, Daughter and a Diet  by Dara-Lynn Weiss. It's about a mother who was told her 7 year old needed to lose weight and the diet she put her on. I know this book was controversial when it came out. I'm only a few chapters in but I can empathize with the mother more than I thought I could. My children do not have weight issues but I did as a child. My mom was encouraged to put me on diets- I remember going to WW at the age of 8. I have a lot of feelings about it all but I know my mom's intentions where only good. I'm eager to read more of the book and see if the daughter successfully loses weight or if there are other consequences. 

To say with my heavy and light theme, there has been a lot of heavy things so far this January, but I am looking towards the light and for the light. The snuggles with the (fat-shamed) pup, playing a card game with my daughter, laughing with my son, and reading a good book.  Glad that each day will be a little lighter now that we are past the Winter Solstice- every day a little brighter, and lighter.