I'm kind of out of practice with my writing. I've missed a lot of Tuesdays. Elizabeth Benton (Primal Potential) would say- no drama, no focus on what was- today is Tuesday and you can write today. So here I am, but I'm not sure what to say.
I could tell you that yesterday my nephew (and godson) turned 13 years old-a big milestone in a person's life. I remember the day he was born and the rush of love, holding that cozy, chubby bald bundle in Lenox Hill Hospital. I could tell you he was the result of many months of injections and procedures and a lot of faith on my sister and her husband's part. I could tell you he is their one and only child and he is an amazing youhg man. Funny, sporty, handsome, easy-going, and confident.
I could tell you that my sister has 3 more radiation treatments to go in her active treatment phase for breast cancer. That on her son's birthday, they couldn't go out (went out the night before) because she needed to go to radiation. And I think back to 13 years ago, when she was in the hospital with her new baby, could she have predicted where she would be 13 years in the future? Life is so strange like that. She will ring the bell on Thursday night and move into the longterm phase of keeping the devil that is cancer away.
I could tell you that yesterday I told my class that I wasn't going to make it to June like this. I really did. It was a very hard day on top of many days where nobody is listening to me. One of my sweet students who is still working on English said that very thing to me as the class stood talking in the hall, ignoring me, days ago. She looked at me sadly and said, "Nobody is listening to you." She was right. It's time to pull out new tricks. I've got to regain control of a group with many big personalities, some children who haven't been around other kids for a very long time (remote learning last year) and a great deal for us to learn. So to the drawing board I go.
I could tell you that my daughter Megan sang at a tree lightling last night with her theater group and she was funny and expressive and adorable. I could tell you that I suspect my son Alex does not believe in Santa or our elves anymore but he hasn't told me that. I wonder why. When I found out there was no actual Santa Claus, I had to talk to my mother about it and get her confirmation of that fact. I remember being so sad. I wonder why he wouldn't talk to me about it. He's 11 and likely doesn't believe. I'm glad he hasn't ruined it for his sister, who I think might be starting to have her doubts. If you have kids who still believe, it really is a precioius and magical time that goes too fast.
I could tell you that I look forward to seeing my little fuzzy brown puppy every day. When he comes down the stairs sleepy in the morning, his curly ear flipped over, I love to hug him and touch his soft fur. I could tell you that having a dog is one of the greatest joys I've known and I had to wait until I was 41 to know it. I would tell you it's ironic or something that a dog caused years of grief and hurt and pain (my son was attacked by a dog in first grade and there are ongoing medical procedures still) anda dog has also restored joy and fun and love to my family in ways I never expected.
So, I guess once I got started, there really was some writing to write today.
Kathleen Neagle Sokolowski