A few months ago, I made the decision to address my hearing loss.
I realized I was losing my hearing over 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter. One day, I went to talk on the phone and held the receiver to my left ear. It was so difficult to understand and I had to switch it to my right ear. I realized everything sounded garbled on the left. When I was in social settings and there was a lot of background noise or multiple people talking, I would lose track of what people were saying. If I couldn't see someone's mouth, it was even harder to know the words being said. At 20 weeks pregnant, I went to an ENT and had a hearing test. The doctor couldn't believe how poor my hearing was in my left ear and I had loss in my right ear too. He sent me for an MRI to rule out a brain tumor causing the hearing loss. I had a feeling it was just my genes- my dad and his family all lost their hearing in their early 30's. Thankfully, no tumor at all. After my daughter was born, I went back to the ENT practice, met with an audiologist and got hearing aids. I HATED them. They slipped out of my ear all the time (turns out I have a very narrow ear canal and need a custom fit. Of course.) My baby up on my shoulder was deafening, as was a paper towel ripping, but I still couldn't understand what people said on TV without close caption. They were very expensive and I was very unhappy, so I returned them. And I made peace with lip reading and doing my best to compensate for my poor hearing. Then, over the summer, while on a playdate, the mom and I were chatting. She is a speech pathologist who works with students who are hearing impaired. She told me unaddressed hearing loss leads to dementia and suggested I try again. A few weeks later, on the soccer field, I felt so frustrated and embarrassed that I couldn't understand what other parents were saying to me. A grocery store encounter with a clerk left me clueless about what she was trying to tell me. I decided it was time to try to address the hearing loss again. This time around, I let the audiologist know about my narrow ear canals and my passed frustration. We talked about appropriate expectations. I was fitted for hearing aids with blue tooth capability to let me stream conversations, music and podcasts. The hearing aids fit. I've gotten used to certain noises being louder (the click of a keyboard, the car indicator, and yes, a paper towel ripping.) I still struggle to hear conversation sometimes. I get closer to my students and ask them to repeat themselves. I still use close caption on the television. I still hold the phone to my right ear. But I wear my hearing aids so that someone else who might feel embarrassed or sad about hearing loss might see that it's okay. They are not awful. They are a tool to help me have a better life. Why wouldn't I use every tool possible to enhance my communication with others? I got over the stigma of wearing hearing aids and being under 40 (for a few more months!). And I hope my story might help others who are feeling left out because you just can't hear everything the way you wish you would.
8 Comments
Shelly
3/12/2019 03:00:42 pm
So glad you decided to try the hearing aids again. It’s not easy accepting what life throws at us, but necessary to help us. I’m sure you are inspiring many! I know I am inspired by your acceptance and not only helping yourself, but wanting others to feel accepted too!
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3/12/2019 03:31:32 pm
There are many moments when I've read something you've written and I am amazed by you. This might be the biggest one of those moments. Your steady approach and perseverance to work through the challenge of hearing loss, and your ability to embrace both the frustrations and advantages of hearing aids is really admirable. I also think you set an incredible example here of honest, vulnerable writing. Kathleen for president.
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3/12/2019 06:21:30 pm
Kathleen, I can only imagine the frustration you have had in many situations. I think sharing this story is so important and I'm so glad you have! Thank you for sharing this very personal piece of writing. It shows great strength and vulnerability.
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3/12/2019 06:40:21 pm
It takes courage to go back and try again when you were so unhappy the first time! I recently had to get progressive lenses in my glasses & I felt so old! But I needed to get over it because being able see near AND far were equally important. Thanks for sharing your story.
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3/12/2019 07:16:27 pm
Paper towels ripping... who knew? Thanks to your slice, now I do. Bravo for sharing your story, changing your mind to afford yourself a second chance, and setting positive examples for others in the process.
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Heidi Atlas
3/12/2019 07:38:33 pm
Your writing is always so honest and authentic. The issues you choose to write about are often so important and personal. It is always difficult to accept certain limitations. You are an amazing person - Kathy. It's great that you shared this. And I concur with the "Kathleen for president" sentiment.
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liz ryan
3/14/2019 05:26:16 pm
Thank you for sharing this. Your blog title couldn't be truer. My niece struggled to find the right size or her tiny ears. My mom kept her struggle from me until she showed me she was wearing them. Im glad you found someone to support you and help you through this transition.
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3/15/2019 02:05:45 pm
Kathleen, I wanted to applaud your courage in writing about this topic so honestly; I feel like it will encourage others to take care of themselves if they are going through something similar with hearing loss.I did not know that unaddressed hearing loss leads to dementia - how alarming! This alone is reason to not deny getting help. I think about not recognizing danger, too, in not hearing well. You beautifully pointed out that the hearing aids give you a better life - so very powerful. Life is too precious and too short to not hear as much of it as you can. :)
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