I work in a school where everyone helps each other. I teach on a grade level where everyone generously shares time, resources, patience, inspiration and empathy on a daily basis. Just today, my student teacher needed help coming up with a small group lesson observation for later in the week, My friend who teaches next door is only in her second year at our school, but she is brilliant with small group reading and I knew she would be a fabulous resource. This friend took time in her afternoon to help my student teacher think through a lesson and shared slides she created to support the lesson.
This evening, I opened a document another teacher on my grade level created. It is a place where all our math lessons are shared for each unit. Our current unit, Fractions, is a challenging one. There were amazing Pear Decks and lessons posted for all of us to use. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this and how much time it saves for me. Teaching is hard, no doubt about it. Having friends who make the school day more fun and generously share so much makes it all so much better. I get by with a little help from my friends! Do you have a team of people at your school who help you out, too?
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"Cookies! Get your Girl Scout Cookies!"
The little Brownies wore their vests and their most charming smiles yesterday to win over shoppers and sell some Girl Scout Cookies. My daughter Megan is a Brownie and I am one of her troop leaders. This is our fourth year of being in the troop= Daisies to Brownies, but only our second year of having cookie booth sales. COVID-19 canceled cookie booth sales in 2020 and 2021, so our troop was excited to be able to sell again this year. Megan had a whole sales pitch ready to go and was eager to win customers over. I reflected with another mom about my dislike of sales! I was never comfortable trying to get people to buy things. When I worked in high school at a department store, I was requited to ask customers to open up a store credit card. I never liked doing it and thus didn't have many charges open under my watch. When a manager spoke to me about my lacking sales, I decided it was time for a new job. The job I left for was even worse- but that's another slice! It made me so glad to see the Brownie troop confidently and politely asking people to buy cookies, without that nervousness I always felt. Our troop sold over 200 boxes of cookies yesterday afternoon! We have another booth sale later this month. Selling cookies gives our troop funds to use for fun outings and also to give back to the community. Megan loves horseback riding and would never have known that if our Brownie troop didn't go to the stables last June. With the Brownies, Megan has rock climbed, flown on the trapeze, and of course, ridden horses. (3 things I've yet to do). So proud of Megan and the girls in our troop for doing such a fantastic job yesterday! (PS- Do you have a favorite Girl Scout cookie? Mine are Samoas.) "Under the surface
I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus Under the surface Was Hercules ever like "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus"? Under the surface I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service" -"Surface Pressure" from Encanto On Saturday mornings, I drive my daughter Megan to the stables for her riding lesson. Last June, she rode a horse for the first time at our Brownie end of the year outing and fell in love with horses and horseback riding. It caught me by surprise because it was not in my radar of something Megan would want to do or enjoy. Sometimes, it's nice when your kids surprise you! Anyway, I have a playlist for my 42nd year that I started last June and have added to it throughout the year. Many of the songs are ones Megan really likes and so each time we leave for the stables, I hand her my phone and she DJ's our car ride, which is about 20 minutes. Yesterday, she played "Surface Pressure" from Encanto, which is one of my favorite songs from the movie. The line "I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service" is really striking to me, as is the idea that you have to be the strong one and and shoulder everyone's burdens. Better not show any cracks or breaks! As a mom, I totally feel this- I'm the one managing everyone's doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, school dress up days, book fair money, birthday parties, homework and more. I'm doing all this while teaching 3rd grade, which has its own set of stresses and pressures. Mistakes abound and I hate the feeling that comes when I realize I forgot to order more orange juice or I missed the memo that religion class was cancelled this week. There is a constant pressure at work and at home. Sometimes, I feel like that berserk tight rope walker in a three ring circus. Though it doesn't rhyme, the line for me might say "I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I am not achieving"- it's something I've been wrestling with emotionally in the last couple of years. I was super lucky to have loving and supportive parents, but from a young age I felt the internal need to prove myself through accomplishments. My older sister succeeded effortlessly and I kept trying to live up to her. I think somewhere along the line my worth got wrapped up in achieving- getting good grades, winning a scholarship, receiving awards. I felt the need to stand out in some way= to be "special" and therefore, worthy. If I am not "special", I have not worth. When I did not get the instructional coaching position I applied for a couple of years ago, it shook me deeply and my sense of worth. As I watch people my age climb the ladder to be coaches, administrators, presenters, authors- I've felt a sense of shame that I am still just a classroom teacher. I've come to process that it has been my choice not to pursue being an administrator- I don't think it would be a good fit for me- and being a classroom teacher is an important job where you directly impact students each day. Beyond that, it is so important to me to be a present and involved mom, especially while my children are young. Maybe in time, professional goals will surface again, but right now, I value the time to be the Brownie troop leader and the mom watching her son get the touchdown at flag football. Listening to the song "Surface Pressure" as we ride to the barn really has inspired a lot of self reflection. We are all under pressure but none of us is worthless, ever. "When I grow up, I will be tall enough to reach the branches That I need to reach to climb the trees You get to climb when you're grown up. And when I grow up, I will be smart enough to answer all The questions that you need to know The answers to before you're grown up. And when I grow up, I will eat sweets every day, On the way to work, and I will Go to bed late every night. And I will wake up When the sun comes up, and I Will watch cartoons until my eyes go square, And I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up." -From "Matilda the Musical" Last night, my mother and daughter, Megan went to see the middle school production of "Matilda the Musical Jr.". Two years, ago, right before the world shut down, we sat in the same theater to see the middle school students perform Frozen. I remember the crowded lobby and how just a week later being in a crowd would seem unheard of. I was glad that the students were able to perform the play without their masks- I'm guessing they must have practiced the entire thing while wearing masks since the mandate was only lifted on Wednesday. It was so nice to be able to see their whole faces and hear their voices as they sang. One of my son's friend's older sister had the leading role of Matilda. She was excellent! I was so impressed by the confidence, poise and skill of all the performers. My song to anchor today is from the show. My daughter sang this song in her winter concert at the end of January. It's such a sweet song about the things kids think they will do when they are all grown up. If you've never heard it, you can see it here: After the show, we picked up my son, Alex and the four of us went to Friendly's. My mom had coffee, I had tea and the kids had food and then ice cream even though it was already after 9pm! My children adore my mom who of course adores them back and it was good to be together.
To end, I'll connect back to the song. What did you think you would be able to do as a grown up when you were a kid? I love the line about eating sweets every day- if only! :) It was Janet Jackson night at my Barre Bootcamp class tonight. (My playlist song for today's post is Janet Jackson's "All For You", which did play during one of our painful leg routines.)
It had been one of those Alexander Days (terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad) and I was feeling blah but my sister counts on me to go to Thursday class and of course I knew it would be good for my body and soul to change the energy of the day. It wasn't a great sign when one of my fellow boot-campers shook his mat out and knocked over the Buddah's little cup and it smashed into pieces. It felt like a very bad omen for the Buddah to be disturbed like that. But on we went, beginning our class. I had a headache and the moves felt hard but my sister and I had some good laughs during and after class. Did you do anything that was "all for you" or just for you today? "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's going to be a bright, bright, sunshiney day." "I Can See Clearly Now", Jimmy Cliff This morning brought me to my eye doctor's office. More than an eye doctor, she's really a glaucoma specialist that I've been working with for several years. Though I am only in my early 40's, I have a lot of #oldpeopleproblems. Yesterday's #oldpeopleproblems took me to my audiologist for a hearing aid cleaning and check-up. Not only do I have early hearing loss (and fairly profound loss in my left ear), I have glaucoma which you normally see in much older people. I was diagnosed with it in my early 20's and so I've been managing it for over 20 years. The last few years saw my eye pressure numbers increasing while I went on several different drops. My doctor determined that I would be a good candidate for surgery to try to create a drain in my eyes to relieve the pressure. I had my left eye done in the fall of 2019 and last summer, my right eye had the surgery. The good news is both eyes are doing really well- I'm off one of my drops and the pressure is significantly lower than before surgery. My doctor is pleased and so that was a piece of good news today. Today also brought milder weather with spring in the air. It was the first day of masks being optional and teaching without a mask felt wonderful and also strange. My mom and children and I went to church for Ash Wednesday services. The church was packed, which was another sign of life coming back (maybe?). The deacon spoke about the meaning of Lent and ways we can make it a meaningful season. It felt right and good to be there today. Today had good news, sunshine and hope in the air. "Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart tell me, Why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out You got so much to do and only So many hours in a day." -Billy Joel, "Vienna" Today, I chose to sit with my dog, Teddy on my lap and take a nap instead of doing all the things I had to do. I had to take a half day for a couple of doctor's appointments for me and my son and I thought I would have a chunk of time to get some work done, read Slices, and be efficient. But, Teddy walked over to me and looked like he was receptive to being held (most times, he runs away when I want to scoop him up. ) Indeed, he let me hold him. I was by my computer, but I really couldn't do much once I was holding him, so it was either put him down or take him to a comfy spot. The comfy spot won. While I pet his soft fur, I closed my eyes. I heard my Grandmother say, "Take a dreep." My younger cousin used to say "dreep" for "sleep" when he was a baby and for some reason, it just popped into my head as I took a mid-afternoon "dreep." This made me think of the song "Vienna" by Billy Joel. Which led me to the movie "13 Going on 30" (so cute) and the scene where the main character has a sort of breakthrough about the life she's been living. And, at close to 43, I'm certainly not a juvenile by any stretch of the imagination, but I've been ambitious. Lately, I've been valuing rest and time with family and friends more than accomplishing all my never-ending to-do's. Did you choose rest or fun over the to'do's today? |
AuthorKathleen Neagle Sokolowski Archives
February 2024
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