The road to the Google Hangout with TWT co-author and author of Every Child Can Write, Melanie Meehan, was not a smooth one.
The idea sparked in the fall when Melanie's book was publishing. I thought it would make a great choice for a professional book club in my district. And I thought that having the author talk with the participants would be an awesome end to the book study. I asked Melanie if she would be willing to do a Google Hangout or Skype with teachers who study her book and she was so willing and generous. The next step was to see if my district could purchase the books for the teachers. I know (first-hand) that teachers are very pressured for time and often buy a lot of supplies for their students. It would be so enticing, I thought, if teachers could be given the book instead of having to buy it with their own money. There were several hoops to jump through in requesting the books, but my district very kindly did donate 15 books for our book study! But right at the time the books were donated, the Teacher Center ran out of funding for any new classes. So now, books were being ordered, but there was no money to pay the instructor (me) or the participants taking the course for payment. Once again, this led to a flurry of emails and requests, but it did workout that my district would fund the class since the Teacher Center was unable to fund it. Okay- so the class was in place and teachers signed up! For about 8 weeks, we had fabulous conversations about the practical and do-able strategies Melanie suggests to reach the striving writers in our classes. Yesterday was the last class and our Google Hangout with Melanie. But, the technology was not so easy to figure out. I have a new Smartboard this year that isn't attached to my computer- it is its own computer. Try as we might, we (Ron, our tech support) and I could not get Google Hangout to work through the Smartboard. There were many attempts. We thought of Skype, but again, this wasn't an option. There seemed to be no camera on the Smatboard. Then, Ron suggested we hook my chrome book up to the Smartboard since I can and have done Google Hangouts with Melanie through my chrome book. This seemed to be the magical solution. Ron set it all up for me days before. But yesterday, when it came time to get ready for the Hangout, my chrome book died right as I was plugging it in. Okay, I tell myself. You can use a student's chrome book and just log in as yourself. So, I did that. But then the chrome book wasn't showing up on the Smartboard screen- it was just showing my background and not what I was clicking on in the chrome book. I Googled this on my classroom computer and realized that I had to click a button my settings to make the chromebook appear on the screen. Crossing my fingers, I clicked the button and VOILA! The screen came to life. As the teachers filed into my classroom, ready for the Hangout, Melanie and I attempted the call. Except when she called me on Hangout, there seemed to be no way to answer it. We tried a different email address. I tried calling her. Multiple attempts and it wasn't working. We tried Facetime on my phone as a last ditch option but even that seemed to not work. I couldn't believe all of this work leading to this moment and the Hangout wasn't going to happen. But then, all of a suddent, somehow, magically Melanie Meehan was on the screen talking to us!! It worked!! We told Melanie how much we loved the book and how many strategies we've been trying with our students. A few teachers had specific questions for Melanie about their striving writers and how to transition students from post-it writing to larger pieces of paper. When the Hangout ended, one teacher told me how impressed she was by Melanie and how she wished she could be a staff developer in our school. She is so smart and full of ideas and really lives the work with teachers and students. Making this book study and Google Hangout a reality was an exercise in persistence, for sure. It made me think of the theme of Every Child Can Write and the whole idea behind the book- that persistence really is needed by teachers and students to move forward as writers (and maybe in everything!). We have to believe that we will reach our goal and try multiple ways to get there. One dead end doesn't need to mean the journey is over. And people who can help us on our path make all the difference. Thank you so much to the Farmingdale School District for donating the books and funding this book study. Thank you to the dedicated educators who took time to read and discuss this professional book with such reflectiveness and commitment to your students. Thank you to Ron for helping me figure out the technology after all. A huge thank you to Melanie Meehan for writing a book we need to read and being so thoughtful and generous to talk with us!
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We stepped out into the sunlight, the spring-like temperature adding to the warmth of the moment.
My entire third grade class did a collective cheer and then rushed forward to greet our visitor, our former student teacher, Miss Fuscaldo. I had to do crowd control and ask everyone to step back before they mobbed her in a huge hug. It was unforgettable. They've been missing her so much. Miss Fuscaldo started the year with our class and stayed with us through right before December break. Loving, patient, supportive, smart and creative. Miss Fuscaldo was an asset to our classroom. The students loved her small group lessons and her whole class ones, too. With 26 students, Miss Fuscaldo was a blessing to all of us. Together, Miss Fuscaldo and I moved curriculum forward in a way that is difficult for me to do alone and we were able to get to more students each day. Miss Fuscaldo stayed with our class all afternoon. She took part in our science lesson on the adaptations of mountain goats, She walked outside with us during our fire drill. She read The Cool Bean to the class and then posed for pictures with each student. They enveloped her in a group hug as the dismissal bell rang and it was time to head home. 'If you ever need a self-esteem boost," I told Miss Fuscaldo before hugging her goodbye, "you know where to come!" My sister and I got a much-needed coffee and manicure this past weekend. While we live a town apart, we just don't get to talk much during the week and the weekends usually race by. When she asked me if I wanted to meet up for a manicure so she could tell me about the new job she was starting, I decided the pile of things to do could wait a little longer.
As we sipped coffee and caught up, and I heard all about her new job opportunity, we started talking about the seasons in your professional life. She had been a high powered lawyer at a prestigious New York City firm making oodles of money in her 20's and early 30's. She loved the money but hated the work and when she had my nephew, she decided to give up the law and try out real estate. Now, as my nephew is becoming a tween (11?!), she is finding herself wanting something more again and is taking on a new job. She said she was jealous that I had a job I was so passionate about. I confessed my restlessness and maybe my ego gnawing at me. People I graduated school with who are my age are way higher in the education food chain. They are principals, directors, even Superintendents. I have the same job title as I did at 22. She reminds me it was my choice not to be an administrator, and she's right. That's not my passion or my path. Yet- something in me wishes I was further, more accomplished. Had a bigger title. Maybe had a quiet office somewhere to make all the rules and policies without doing bus duty in a noisy hallway for the 5 millionth time. A teacher in a Facebook group I am in wrote how she cannot envision herself in this career for much longer. She said something like "I was made for more than just keeping kids quiet in the hallway." And I thought, someone has to keep the kids quiet in the hallway. We all can't have glamorous, high-profile jobs. Someone has to walk the children to their special and stand on bus duty and do all the other jobs that come with being a teacher. But maybe a part of me feels like that too- isn't there more for me than this? I wish I didn't feel restless. I wish I felt totally satisfied and content with being right where I am. I don't want to be a principal or an administrator, but how do I stop feeling somehow like I am not advancing in my career? Is this a normal stage for a teacher who's been teaching 18 years or are people just happy to be teachers until retirement? I.
This morning, I read Phil Bildner's response to having his school visit cancelled. You can read it here. I found these lines particularly striking: "Educators, administrators, school boards, and parents talk a lot about kindness and empathy. They talk about how to teach it and model it. But too often, when it comes to our LGBTQ students, it’s just talk. That’s not acceptable. Because lives are at stake. Children’s lives are at stake. When books are kept from kids because of close-minded and fear-driven adults, and when individuals are erased because of close-minded and fear-driven adults, what we’re really teaching and modeling is that people without empathy prevail, and that kindness only matters when it’s shown to certain people and defined by a loud few." The school paid Bildner NOT to come. They honored his contract by paying him ,but did not allow him to speak to the students. II. My mom and I took my daughter to see Frozen Jr. performed at our local middle school. I was astonished by the poise and talent of 6th, 7th and 8th graders. The young lady who played Elsa really belted out Let It Go, Frozen's anthem, with such spirit. It made me think more about the lyrics of the song and how Elsa feels so free to really be who she is after the many years of trying to "conceal, not feel". Of course, this made me think of Phil Bildner and all the students who don't feel safe to be who they really are. Freedom comes from living your authentic truth. As educators, why can't we create spaces that allow every child to be who he/she is? To have representation in the books read and made available? nWhen I was a new teacher in my early 20's, I worked around the clock. I would get to my school early in the morning, at least an hour before the 8:20 bell rang to start the day. Usually more like 6:45 I would arrive at the building. I would stay until after 5- sometimes closer to 6 pm. You would think with all this time at the building, I would be completely caught up and organized, but alas I never, ever felt caught up. I would bring work home, too.
I remember a teacher saying to me, "You know, there is no prize for the person who stays the longest." It felt kind of snarky to me at the time, I think she wanted me to see that I wasn't impressing anyone by putting so much physical time in at work. I truly wasn't trying to impress anyone. I was trying to keep my head above water. I couldn't understand how everyone else left so early and still got everything done. Now I know they weren't getting everything done either. There is no way to get it all done. You can literally work every hour of the day as a teacher and you would still find more that you should do, more that you could do. I used to set my alarm for 2am. Seriously. I had a three year old son and a year old daughter and I was in a new grade level. I couldn't stay late at work the way I used to or arrive as early. When I got home from work, I had mom jobs to do and couldn't open my work bag. I was exhausted by the time the kids feel asleep and would fall asleep then too. So, I realized, I could get up in the middle of the night and work for a few hours, then go back to sleep an hour or two before the day started. I did it for many months. I stopped when I wrote "Yikes!" on a student's math worksheet where she answered no questions correct in the minute sprint we did. Her mother was upset with my choice of words and called my principal. I had a caring, supportive relationship with the family all year but, in one moment, at 2am, I hurt that by writing a word I shouldn't have on a child's paper. Turns out you aren't your clearest at 2am. Nowadays? I have been teaching for 18 years. I still think I could work around the clock and have more I should do, more I could do. I arrive at work about 20 minutes before the kids come and many days I leave when I am contractually allowed at 3:15. While I bring work home, I just don't always get to it. (I often don't). I prioritize sleep because it is good for my physical and mental health. I am a better everything when I am rested- better mom, better teacher, better person. I've been working on better health- exercising, eating well, taking at least a little time for myself each day. This means that bulletin boards aren't as updated. It means phone calls get pushed off until the next day. It means sometimes the students wait another day before receiving a test score. Self care isn't bubble baths and candles. It is knowing you are a person who has important needs that deserve to be met, regardless of a job that continues to pile more and more on your back and expect you to somehow make miracles happen. Self care is getting rest, getting movement, eating food that fuels you, breathing, reading, connecting with friends, spending quality time with your family, and knowing that you are replaceable at work (it's true) but not in your own life. How do you handle the demands of teaching while prioritizing your health? Today was all about numbers.
Grading math practice tests, seeing percentages, thinking of how many points an answer earned. Feeling a bit defeated and deflated by the numbers. The numbers tell a story and paint a picture that doesn't match what I know to be true of my students. There are other numbers that matter too. The number of times a student smiles The number of stories they tell me The number of times they raise their hand to take a chance on answering a challenging question. The number of times they look at the clock in boredom or stay engaged in their learning. The number of times they wonder, puzzle, build or create in a day. The number of friends they help. The number of books they choose to read when they aren't being asked to read. There are many ways to measure a student, a teacher, a school. Teaching is so frequently about that which cannot be quantified, but what develops and grows in a student. Most days, this is what I hold close in my heart. Today was all about numbers. |
AuthorKathleen Neagle Sokolowski Archives
February 2024
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