It's the time of year when teachers come together to separate students into new classes for next year. Part of the meeting involves looking at requests that have been made by parents. One of my current student's family requested a teacher and the description seemed as though they wanted the opposite of me.
It's not personal, of course. And every family has the right to say what type of teacher would be best for their child. As a parent, I totally get that. I know that my children need a specific type of teacher too- one who isn't overly strict, one who can see past quirks at times to the beauty and brilliance inside. I do get it. But still, it feels personal. Because teaching is so personal. It's not the kind of job you show up to and leave- punch your card, do your time, then go about your regular life. For so many teachers, being a teacher is an integral part of our identity. We can't and don't shut it off when we walk out of the building. It's such a human profession with so many emotions, decisions, and so much feeling. So when a parent wishes their child had someone with a different mindset and different style of teaching, while it is completely understandable, it still tugs at my heart. It still makes me feel like maybe I'm off track. It makes me worry that other people feel that way too. This is the time of year for self-reflection and sometimes regret. There is room to grow. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. It's not personal. But, still, it feels like it is.
9 Comments
6/11/2019 03:28:38 am
Ouch- I get your perspective and appreciate you saying "there is room to grow." While striving to be your best is one thing, seeing someone not recognize what you do is frustrating and demeaning. As educators, we do put a lot of ourselves into the job and we take our job home with us too. It's hard not to take it personal. My hope is that you have a class of children (and parents) who appreciate the value of what you do and how you do it.
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Erika Victor
6/11/2019 03:45:42 am
Yup, I get it! I thought that about some requests I have seen in the past, but then again, those parents are not IN the class, so they really are not speaking against you and your style (or me in my case), but imaging what might work best for their child (and sometimes when they "get" what they ask for they are surprised at the results. I have had a few parents who I felt like really preferred a different style say the sweetest things about me to the principal, so there is that. I DO know we can never be all things to all people and I would want any kid I loved in YOUR class!
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Sally
6/11/2019 04:03:50 am
Adding the movie clip added to this honest and heartfelt post. I too am self-reflecting and asking my 6th graders for feedback. And it is hard for the very reasons you post - teaching is our life, not just a job. Sounds like we both get to reflect on this feedback - at least we have a summer to do it.
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6/11/2019 06:17:44 am
Yes, this work so often does feel personal, for better and worse, which makes me wonder: Does the converse of the situation you describe apply, too? When a parent wishes a child has someone with precisely your mindset and style of teaching? I know what I'd wager...
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6/11/2019 07:33:05 am
The video clip was a clever addition to the message in your slice this week!
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6/11/2019 04:22:49 pm
Teaching is so personal that it is difficult not to feel that way. You end with reflection and opportunity of learning. There is nothing more you can do. Also, remember all the families that you were the exact right match for ... they count too!
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Therapi G Zaw-Kaplan
6/11/2019 07:18:20 pm
This has happened to me as well. I love how your present teaching as a part of our identities. It's a part of our fabric as people. Business decisions with parents and admin are often hard to understand. I hope you enjoy your well-deserved summer.
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Tamara
6/12/2019 07:51:50 am
My heart aches for you. I’ve been there. When I learned about the negativity bias I resolved that I wouldn’t dwell on the one negative comment anymore. It’s not that easy, of course, but I keep working on it.
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AuthorKathleen Neagle Sokolowski Archives
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